yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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