I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
