Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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