So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
