i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize