yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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