is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
