Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
