margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
