this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
