tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
