Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
