yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
