Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Are my feet made of real feet?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
