I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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