the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
