I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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