So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize