I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
