Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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