So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
