How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
