Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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