I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
