There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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