Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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