Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
