my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He passed out mid-signature
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
