There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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