Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
