Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
