And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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