Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
