You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
