Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
