): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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