I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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