And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
