Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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