how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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