Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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