Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
