We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
