I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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