it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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