porn star boner night. come get it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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