Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize