he puts the penis in happiness.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
