I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
