im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
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