Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
