Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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