That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
