haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
