yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize