That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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