Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
