I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just blew my weed a kiss
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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