oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
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