i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
