hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize