I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
