im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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