I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
