There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
